Sakes alive, chillun’, y’all gatha round an listen ta Mama, ‘cause I be fixin’ to tell ya all bout the day the zombies came- no lyin’!
(Note: The rest of the story translated to English- Some folks can’t read Southern)
Believe it or not, the day started beautifully! I was excited, because I was going to meet my favorite MMA fighter, Apachai, and even give him a physical! The poster in my examining room, in the flesh- I was so pumped! I met Little John at 6 am to put him through his workout, trying to increase his endurance. We talked of the coming visit by Apachai, and the planned camping trip that the 2 of us, along with Edward Ethan and our guide, Ethan Howle, were going on after work. The rest of the morning seemed to drag along slowly, and I met Edward Ethan, or E2 as we call him, during the morning break. That is when things began to get weird. Some friend of E had shown him a video in Japan that looked too real to believe it was a movie- a guy rising off a mortician’s table, killing the mortician, then getting plowed by a semi. Then, at lunch, someone blew up a clinic in downtown Atlanta- we could see smoke. The boss would not let me go save any of the folks there, and for that, now I am glad. When I got back downstairs, the commercial crew was setting up and Apachai had arrived. I put all thoughts of dying behind as I gazed at his chiseled frame- he even gave me his phone #. Little did I know he would soon be my companion in a completely different form.
As the commercial began filming, news reports began to filter in from everywhere- the miracle “cure” for cancer, the one that had not been fully tested by the FDA, the drug I warned everyone not to take, was turning people into zombies!! I then found out that my boss, and everyone else on the 5th floor, had ignored my warnings and had taken the drug! E2 and I heard gunshots, and started upstairs to see what had happened. Soon Little John and Ethan were rushing up the stairs behind us. We get to the 5th floor just as the gunfire stopped. E2 opened the door just ahead of me, takes a couple steps, and says. “Run!”
Now remember, I had no weapons on me- I ain’t gonna take on no zombies with no weapons, not fixin’ ta die am we (sorry, translator fell asleep). We ran back downstairs, grabbing Little John & E2 on our way. We convinced Apachai to join us, and now we are living the zombie apocalypse. We have stopped at E2 place to get our camping gear and weapons, with E2 driving like a maniac. He kept running over undead. We then stopped at my place to get my Jeep. We have killed at least 8 zombies, and so far are still alive. Sakes alive, it is scary! I blew through one of their heads with a perfect shot from my crossbow, but my other shots seemed to bother them like flies bug us. Ineffectual and a nuisance. E2 was bit, and I know not what that means for our future. Will I have to kill one of my best friends? I took a culture, but have no time to analyze it now- more of them freaks will be coming. We are off to Ethan Howell’s ranch, and I know I may never see Atlanta again.
Hope my sister is ok at Fort Benning. We may need her help.
Journal Entry by April on September 22nd, 2015
Picture by AMC’s The Walking Dead Series.